Culture (After)shocks

There are days, even after being here more than two years, when I am still shocked by something I see or hear in this amazing place. My general response is to silently shake my head as it hangs in dismay. Of course, there are situations in which I can only "shake my head on the inside" if you know what I mean -- I can't offend those who considered whatever had just happened to be totally rational, reasonable, civilized, adult, etc.

Recent head-wagging situations include, but are not limited to:
-- the men who don't even turn their backs to the traffic when they "use the facilities" and there are no facilities, only the side of the street

-- the woman who was offended that I didn't bring her a piece of my father's birthday cake (Whenever ex pats travel, the locals with whom we work tend to ask us to bring them "something." "Something" ranges from some chocolates to a laptop or digital camera. I tend to ignore all such requests at this point, having become totally desensitized! This woman did, indeed, ask me to bring her a piece of the cake. I didn't have the energy to explain to her the ridiculousness of the request!)

-- the street "vendors" who were officially kicked off the bridge by the government but who, one day later, are back on the bridge!

-- the tragedy of 40 lives lost in a boat that sunk while transporting villagers to a wedding in a neighboring village. Few Nigerians know how to swim.

-- the most dismaying situation in recent days: Our driver's eldest son is graduating from a mechanic's technical school this weekend. Jide is a serious budgeter who handles what little money he has very well. However, this graduation is costing him over N100,000 (and his monthly base salary is N23,000). The teacher presented him with a list of food items he needs to provide for the ceremony. But, most shocking, he has to have N5,000 in cash with him to "pay for the prayers" at the ceremony. Wow! a step back to the middle ages, indeed! Believe me, we discussed this a long time, yesterday. I told him that NOWHERE in the Bible could any pastor find a verse that would indicate that you have to pay someone cash in order for them to pray for your son! I told him that God must be shaking His head and that it grieves His heart! But Jide said that it's not only at graduations but at any ceremony, including weddings, that the person/pastor who leads in a prayer of blessing must be paid! And ... get this ... at a wedding it is customary for the guests to throw cash on the bridal couple while they dance. Welllllllllllllllllll, all of that money is gathered and counted and a "tithe" of it is COLLECTED by the pastor before it's given to the newlyweds!

So, Saturday, before the appointed person prays for Jide's son, the person will ask the father to begin the contributions with N1,000. Then others will add their cash until the "holy" person is satisfied. Then, Jide's son will be "blessed." It would appear that the only one being blessed is the one getting the cash! Certainly any prayers offered by such a person would bounce back to them from the ceiling.

I can see you ... your heads are shaking as they hang!