A Fine Line Between ...

... love and hate!

A strange phenomenon is occurring around here. In recent weeks we've seen the beginning of the growing exodus of many co-workers and friends. The pace of departures will only increase in the next 3 months as many, many want to leave when school is out.

We all rejoice with those who get their transfer letters. Right now, we live vicariously through their joy!

They move through their day with lighter steps and wider smiles as the real moving day approaches. They start farming out items which they don't want to pack. They websurf to view pictures of their new location and drool. They allow themselves to dream.

But then, when it really comes down to it ... no matter how much they don't want to stay ...
they don't want to leave, either!!

So a dear employee's wife who has really, really, really struggled all the while she was here was actually vomiting the day she left. Another dear friend is confused by her response to her transfer offer. It's just what she's wanted but ... this is familiar, this is where her current support system exists, this life is at least predictable -- even if predictably frustrating!

The farewell parties are on the increase. It's just that I always expected they'd be tough for those of us left behind; I never imagined that those who are leaving would struggle.

In some ways, this place gets to you ... in a good way! When it is our turn to go, we will struggle for certain! I can't imagine never returning to this place ... well, we wouldn't really want to but ... not seeing some of those we'll be leaving behind will be tough.

I still talk with Lucy, our Port Harcourt maid. She's getting married soon and calls for approval and advice (and money ... but we won't give her anymore at this point!) We'll miss Lucy.

And, wow! I can't imagine not visiting with Jide and Michel each day ... talking politics, talking commerce, talking environment ... most importantly -- talking about God and how God can influence each aspect in an amazingly positive way! These guys are like family. But, unlike REAL family and longterm friends, I guess I realize that when we go those contacts will drop over time.

Maybe that is why our friends are struggling with leaving. Because as much as we all say we'll stay in touch ... it's never the same. We have friends to visit on every continent, now! But ... will we ever really visit them?

That's what makes this whole thing difficult. What has become familiar is shifting toward unfamiliar again. And this point in time and this point on the globe where we have all met -- this volatile time in Nigeria's ever-turbulent history ... it might be a place that generates a lot of angst and even hatred but it is, after all, the place we have tried to make feel like home.

Culture (After)shocks

There are days, even after being here more than two years, when I am still shocked by something I see or hear in this amazing place. My general response is to silently shake my head as it hangs in dismay. Of course, there are situations in which I can only "shake my head on the inside" if you know what I mean -- I can't offend those who considered whatever had just happened to be totally rational, reasonable, civilized, adult, etc.

Recent head-wagging situations include, but are not limited to:
-- the men who don't even turn their backs to the traffic when they "use the facilities" and there are no facilities, only the side of the street

-- the woman who was offended that I didn't bring her a piece of my father's birthday cake (Whenever ex pats travel, the locals with whom we work tend to ask us to bring them "something." "Something" ranges from some chocolates to a laptop or digital camera. I tend to ignore all such requests at this point, having become totally desensitized! This woman did, indeed, ask me to bring her a piece of the cake. I didn't have the energy to explain to her the ridiculousness of the request!)

-- the street "vendors" who were officially kicked off the bridge by the government but who, one day later, are back on the bridge!

-- the tragedy of 40 lives lost in a boat that sunk while transporting villagers to a wedding in a neighboring village. Few Nigerians know how to swim.

-- the most dismaying situation in recent days: Our driver's eldest son is graduating from a mechanic's technical school this weekend. Jide is a serious budgeter who handles what little money he has very well. However, this graduation is costing him over N100,000 (and his monthly base salary is N23,000). The teacher presented him with a list of food items he needs to provide for the ceremony. But, most shocking, he has to have N5,000 in cash with him to "pay for the prayers" at the ceremony. Wow! a step back to the middle ages, indeed! Believe me, we discussed this a long time, yesterday. I told him that NOWHERE in the Bible could any pastor find a verse that would indicate that you have to pay someone cash in order for them to pray for your son! I told him that God must be shaking His head and that it grieves His heart! But Jide said that it's not only at graduations but at any ceremony, including weddings, that the person/pastor who leads in a prayer of blessing must be paid! And ... get this ... at a wedding it is customary for the guests to throw cash on the bridal couple while they dance. Welllllllllllllllllll, all of that money is gathered and counted and a "tithe" of it is COLLECTED by the pastor before it's given to the newlyweds!

So, Saturday, before the appointed person prays for Jide's son, the person will ask the father to begin the contributions with N1,000. Then others will add their cash until the "holy" person is satisfied. Then, Jide's son will be "blessed." It would appear that the only one being blessed is the one getting the cash! Certainly any prayers offered by such a person would bounce back to them from the ceiling.

I can see you ... your heads are shaking as they hang!

It's Been Awhile!

I couldn't blog about this before it happened because I was surprising my dad --- I traveled to Alaska for his 80th birthday!

Having just returned a few days ago, I thought a blog entry was long overdue and some of you have been concerned about our status. Not to fear!

Life in Lagos continues. Security issues have become of increasing concern so we're on an early curfew. The steps we've recently gone through with increasing restrictions remind us far too much of our experiences in Port Harcourt. That is not a life we'd like to repeat ...

I hadn't been back in the good ole U.S. of A. since August of '06! It was sweet to land on "home" soil! I just wish that Jim could have accompanied me.

Because I've returned with a whoppin' cold/bug and my energy is low and my work load high, I shant have time to blog much right now.

But allow me to end with a few photos of Dad's birthday celebrations and a comment:
I am so blessed to have a father like my Dad. Other girls say this but it's really true in this case -- I've got the best Dad in the world! His godly character and wisdom is unmatched. His work ethic, servant heart, care for people, ... astounding! It was a joy to spend valuable time with Mom and Dad in the land of ice and snow!